I arrived at LAX on the 30th of March.
The plane landed and I took in a deep breath of peace and fullness. Sunny sunny day.
With traffic and the lengthy shared super shuttle ride (I DO NOT recommend) I arrived at my family friend's house in Orange County.
Maybe it was the jetlag and wear of tire adding to the heavy traffic but nothing about California was bringing me that sense of ecstatic happiness I usually sense when coming here. All I could see was the DISGUSTING amount of litter on the sides of the roads. The large, long concrete roads; cars cars cars smoke businesses businesses businesses SMOG.
I am exactly where I am meant to be.
Twas time to leave beautiful France. In all of our cultures, there are points in which we tend to stagnate. In the south of France I grew annoyed to be honest, with the lack of movement, of creative flow, of building and blessing innovation. However arriving in Southern California I longed for the overgrown forests, lushes greens, the very French attribute of knowing and working the earth.
I am exactly where I am meant to be =)
California was the dream of a life time (or maybe of a quarter of a lifetime? ;) ) I lived it out and now I return to this land not enamored with it; not building dreams on it; simply to touch the sand and land and connect with my brothers and sisters, to bless as I can, where I can.
It was eerie to reconnect with college friends. This past year I haven't spent much time with people my age. It is beautiful to reconnect with souls whose lives resemble yours in no way but that you hold such strong affection with still. Time together is precious.
I've been so blessed in the little time I spent in California to be reminded of the beautiful roots I have grown here. When one travels the world, when one spends spurts of time geographically separated from loved ones, the truth and reality of those connections can fade in the distance. It can feel like you are alone in the world. Sophie and Shannon had me crying in Laguna Beach after hanging out with them for a day. I'm so used to being alone I kept telling them.
We all suck at being present in each others lives. That's something that reveals itself when you no longer have the physical incentive to show up. We all flow in different waves. It's those sweet sweet moments of Truth Speaking that set everything where it should be. Those are the moments I live for. Perhaps the only way to experience them is to forever be a wandering gypsy, in and out of peoples lives, sparking fires of love in the hearts of those that look into my eyes and see.
I love you all so ardently.